Drunken stars

Astronomers have discovered an alcohol cloud that is about 287 billion miles long. After careful calculation, I've determined that this would be almost enough alcohol to put the entire country in a good fucking mood for the rest of the Bush presidency. Sadly, it's not Jaeger or tequila, or even vodka -- any of which would have been proof that there is intelligent life in the universe and, possibly, that there is, in fact, a god. But no, it's methanol, which isn't suitable for human consumption, and which is so completely ordinary that it inspires belief in absolutely nothing.